Learning (Earning) Respect

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted. I have been going through a lot of changes, and yet I have kept quiet since last May. I figure it is likely that I have been living with some fear that my thoughts may expose too much of my true feelings and I don't want to alarm anyone with pendulum swinging thoughts until they settle a bit. In a nut shell, I have returned to my liberal-leaning view of life while retaining my firm belief in a loving Creator and His plan for loving All his creation through the sacrifice of Christ. That being said, I am working through several issues that don't fit comfortably into the box. Frankly, I question several tenets of mainstream Christianity. I question the absolute voracity of Scripture, as I know how man likes to manipulate and alter things to reinforce the view the group in power wants to promote. I also have a real hard time with lines that tell me to disregard my own feelings and perceptions and just do as I'm told. I've never been good at blindly accepting anything. Does this mean that I don't believe God's Word? No, rather that I believe God gave me a brain ( and yes even this wicked heart)to use to work through these thoughts. I reject that every errant and stray thought "breaks God's heart". He knows me. He made me. Nothing I do, say, or think comes as a surprise to God.
So much for the preface.
I have come to accept and support the diversity of Creation. I currently feel that it's OK to allow others to believe and live as they choose; i.e. to offer respect to a wide variety of beliefs and lifestyles. I don't care if your Muslim, Atheist, Polytheist, or Mormon. I am called to love you all without reservation. I don't care if you want to live your life with someone of your own sex and share in the joys and sorrows of marriage. I am called to love you unconditionally; without reservation. I don't care if you drink, smoke, burp, or like to eat fried grasshoppers. Do you do it responsibly without harming those around you? More power to you. Life is hard enough without me telling you that you are going to Hell for believing differently than me.
You see, I have seen and observed throughout history that any group can, and has, abused their fellow man in the "name of(fill in the blank)". If your reason for being cruel and unloving towards your fellow man is your own righteous belief system, something is wrong. So, I have chosen to follow what I feel is the heart of God: to love one another. You see, I didn't find God, He found me. And oddly enough, despite my various side trips in life, He continues to draw me. Not though condemnation, but though patience and love.
So whoever you are, I support, accept and love you to the best of my current ability; which is not always so noble, as I am a human and prone to being a bit of a jerk at times. I am learning though. I feel more inclined to come to your defense than to put you down these days. This is the respect that my blog title alludes to.
So now for the inciting incident that got these juices flowing enough to blog: I recently had a friend, that I used to discuss Christianity with(he was a professed Christian), get excited about an article in the paper that Atheists had taken over a city park for Christmas and had put up several displays to mock Christian beliefs. The disturbing thing was that he was joining in the mocking. Apparently his beliefs have so changed that he now hates Christians. I was hurt, and concerned for his soul, etc. Then I got the epiphany that this is how so many others have felt for so long as we Christians insult and mock them for there different views. In mocking another there is no love for others only love for self. I could just hear the argument that, "turn around is fair play", but a little louder I heard, "two wrongs don't make a right". It just confirmed my viewpoint that heavy-handed insistence that others adopt my beliefs is wrong, no matter who is saying it. The nice thing is that, unlike before, I felt that I didn't need to come to God's defense. It's OK if today my friend wants to question the reality of God. He doesn't need to believe in God, God still believes in him. And allowed enough space to pursue his own understanding, he to will likely run into God in his own powerful way. Or not! It's not my call. My call is to love him anyway, and yes, even offer him the respect that I so eagerly want extended to me.
"Today God, Please keep me humble. Let me come to the aid of those persecuted for their beliefs, even if they differ from my own. Let me be counted amonst those who put love of others above love of self(or love of being right). let me lighten the load of the oppressed instead of adding to it. Thank you for letting me live with the assurance that in the end, Love Wins. Amen"

It's Lonely out in Space....

"Captain, we're running out of power"

I had my 46th birthday in Las Vegas, yesterday! I made the trip down, across the desert with my three young children in a '78 Toyota Motorhome. The trip was fun, but once we hit Vegas, I just couldn't get my wind up. I enjoyed a nice time with my Father for a late lunch and then joined up with additional family(Brother Garth,Niece Jessica, Nephew Gabriel and his wife Therese, and My Step-Mother Barbara) for an early dinner. Then off to a friends house to settle kids and contemplate my Milestone in Sin City(My Hometown, actually). So many options, So many memories! I have thrown Toga Parties, Huge Keggers, I've chased my share of thrills and adventures. My Birthday is a reason to CELEBRATE!!!!
In the end, I laid down feeling old, tired, and blue.

I debated the options and found that I was enjoying having someone else keep my kids busy while I enjoyed some peace.I didn't feel like taking my motorhome to the casino and figured I'd rather have that hundred bucks in my pocket in the morning than donate it to the casino.
I used to celebrate things like this with my brother, but he isn't talking to me right now. Life goes on. I did get a call from a long-lost, recently-found friend who happened to remember that May 13th was special for some reason, and thought it might be my Birthday(no FB notice). I also received about 50 "Happy Birthday's" from my FB family. Always appreciated! I got a camera from Dad, and help for the trip from Mom. I got cupcakes from Felicia(with help from the girls)
Best of all, I got flowers and cards and kisses and the birthday song about 4 times from my very lovely daughters. I also got some rest(much needed, I guess).
I want to bemoan the lack of dancing girls(who all want to bed me), the Power Powders that used to make me feel like a Rock Star, and the Party that featured my favorite bands playing tribute to my birth. But this year, Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll took a pass. They had prior obligations! Or maybe they were right where they always are, and I just never showed! Pretty lame effort for a birthday bash in Vegas!
I will say that Vegas for me isn't Vegas for most others. It is my hometown and is more akin to memories past than the "VEGAS, BABY" most think of. This is the town of ghosts for me. Hotels no longer standing, rights of passage long past. Favorite spots now changed forever.
Am I done? Am I past my prime? Is that all she wrote? I tend to think that this must be Half-time. I have finally landed smach dab in the middle of Middle-age. It was a time to reflect, relax, regroup, and with a pep-talk from the coach get ready to re-emerge out of the locker-room and take the field for the second half of the game. I don't care what the scoreboard says. I'm gonna give it my all and see this game through to the end like a champion.
So Happy Birthday to Me! Thanks to all the well-wishers. And thank God for benching me during the last play of the first half. I have a feeling I was getting ready to hurt myself.
Now, Let's play ball!!!!!!